France Day 13: We see dead people

This morning, we walked across the street to this adorable patisserie, just steps outside our door, to grab breakfast. This is why I love Paris. These are on nearly every street corner!

Then we picked up tickets for the L’Open Bus and headed for the catacombs. (This bus truly is the best way to get around Paris. For $32, you get a full day of hop-on, hop-off privileges, and there are 5 different lines that go all over the city. You can ride on the open top, which looks dorky, but allows you to see way more than you would on the Metro. They provide a free audio guide to what you are seeing as you pass it.)

Now, let me rewind 6 months to share the great Catacombs debate.  When planning this trip, I told M the one thing I want to see is the Catacombs. She said, “no way, not happening, nope, nada, NON!”  She told me that she didn’t want to see dead bodies. I told her I would leave her in the hotel and go alone if I had to. We had this conversation about once a week, for 6 months. Today was finally the day. She went, but wasn’t happy about it.

Neither was I once I saw the line. We arrived early, but still had to wait 2.5 hours in the hot sun. I don’t think I’ve ever even waited in line at Disneyland for 2.5 hours! M and I took turns standing in line, while the other sat nearby in the park.  When we finally entered, we had to go down a really skinny spiral staircase that appeared to go close to the center of the earth. It was dark, damp and cold – only 53 degrees! As we walked through the narrow corridors, M said to me, “Grandma is going to be SO MAD at you!” I guess Grandma was team No Catacombs!

"Stop! This is the empire of the dead!"

The Catacombs are awesome because they are totally unique to Paris. In the late 1700s, the cemeteries here were positively overflowing, and causing a public health hazard. Officials decided to dig up all the bodies in Paris’ cemeteries and move the bones to abandoned rock quarries underneath the city. 

They stacked them in sections, marked with a sign designating which cemetery they had come from. 

There are more than 5 million skeletons in the Catacombs! You have to walk for 2km underground to see them all (and to get out).  

When it was over, M said, “I am glad we did that. It was cool.”  Yes!! Moms love vindication.

As we climbed 100 steps back to the surface, she said, “Mom, if you don’t get me food soon, they are going have to add my bones to the pile.” So dramatic!

So we grabbed lunch at a café, then hopped back on the bus to go to the Louvre. Last time we were in Paris, we didn’t do the Louvre. It looked exhausting and M prefers shopping, while I prefer more macabre sightseeing ventures, and food.  But this time, we decided it was a must. So we descended into the pyramid and followed the hoards to the Mona Lisa. Ok, it’s pretty cool that she is 500 years old. But other than that – meh. 

I was much more impressed by the actual building (which used to be a palace) and its beautiful ceilings. We saw the 2200 year old Winged Victory sculpture, the Venus de Milo, and a million paintings. My feet hurt – a pain that could only be cured by Laduree.

I mentioned previously that we LOVE the macarons from Laduree – so we trekked over and bought a box. Since we were in the neighborhood, we hit the giant and incredibly glamorous Galleries Lafayette department store to try to find new light dresses to wear in tomorrow’s heat. But we were broke from our Laduree spending spree, so we moved over to H&M instead, and each bought the airiest dress we could find.

We then decided to take the full circuit on the bus tour to see the Champs Elysees, Arc de Triomphe, Notre Dame, and other beloved landmarks – because it had finally cooled down and the breeze felt nice atop the bus. Just as we neared our hotel, a bird flew overhead and pooped on M’s arm! I told her that meant we would have good luck for the rest of the trip.  She was not impressed.

For dinner we walked to a Brasserie and ate chicken, mashed potatoes, salad and chocolate mousse. We watched the Eiffel Tower sparkle from our hotel room window, and hit the hay.

Tomorrow: Versailles!

France Day Eight: Merde! I Used All My Data!

This morning we strolled down to the beach and ate breakfast overlooking the Antibes harbor.  The French Riviera is about an hour and a half drive from end to end (Cannes to Menton), so we decided to straight to the end (at the Italian border), and drive back to our hotel, stopping along the way.

Menton is a gorgeous town of citrus colored buildings with a huge Italian influence. We walked through the market, out onto a long pier, and along the beach. 

There wasn’t a lot to do other than stroll, and it was hot. So we headed for Monaco.

Along the way, I told M about Princess Grace. She was fascinated. She grabbed my phone and started Googling “what ever happened to Princess Stephanie?” and read me a long story about the details of the accident. Of course, we had to find the road where their car went over the edge. I do like to provide educational trips.

We left France for a whole hour to visit the tiny country of Monaco and its big city Monte Carlo.  Monaco almost went bankrupt in the late 1800s, so they decided to build a Casino. Then a few decades later, it decided to have no income taxes for any residents. Those two things have made it a haven for the world’s rich. Because of that, we decided to look for our prince for one full hour. All I can say about Monte Carlo is that it is freaking amazing. It has clean, wide streets, gorgeous architecture and “MC” everywhere – which M loved since those are her initials!

We walked around the casino and watched all the guys gawking at and examining the cars parked out front like they have never seen a Ferrari before. Then we walked around back and BAM! – ran right into a Laduree. (M and I have been obsessed with Laduree ever since we visited one in Paris in 2012. It is a historic chain of very fancy tea shops with amazing macarons.) This Laduree sat overlooking the yachts in the harbor, and even had an all-white carousel – so we were IN!  

We had 2 ice cream sundaes for 40 euros (I mean, they did have all kinds of delicious caramelized almonds, Chantilly cream, salted caramel gelato, Madagascar vanilla beans and other stuff… which KIND of make it worth going broke to eat ice cream for lunch).

I hadn’t found my prince, but we had to leave Monaco and return to France for the little hilltop village of Eze. There is a very tiny municipal parking lot with a big line of cars waiting to find spaces. A handsome Frenchman walked up to our car, knocked on the window, and asked if we wanted his space. Then he literally stopped and blocked traffic so we could back into it. He got out of his car, and gave us his parking voucher, which still had 2 hours left on it. Who says the French aren’t nice?! Once he drove away, I realized -- he was our prince!

The problem with Eze is that it is on top of a freaking mountain, and you have to park basically at the bottom and walk up. We gave it the old college try, but it was just too hot. We walked halfway up, hit a few shops, and bailed. Since we still had time on our parking voucher, and we had only eaten ice cream for lunch, we went to a hot dog stand and ordered 2 dogs – which came on baguettes, of course.

Right about this time I got a terribly upsetting text from AT&T telling me I had used all the data available on my international data plan. I called them in a panic and said, “BUT I HAVE TO BE ABLE TO FACEBOOK, TWITTER, AND TEXT PHOTOS!!!!!” (I may have even been crying.) They told me I could have one more gig of data for $120. Done and done. Problem solved.

Leaving Eze, we could see Nice below us. It is HUGE. Not even joking, it appeared to be about the size of Chicago. We drove all the way through on the Promenade Des Anglais, with the beach on one side and lots of fancy hotels on the other. The beach was very crowded and lots of people were out strolling. We saw this for about 8km:

As we were leaving, we had this conversation:

Me: “So how did you like the drive through Nice?”

M: “It was nice.”

Me: “I see what you did there.”

On our way to St. Paul de Vence, we stopped to fill up with diesel fuel. A woman ran outside and handed me a plastic glove to wear while I pumped gas. WTF. I seriously love France.

St. Paul de Vence is a hilltop town similar to Eze. By now it had cooled down, so we made the climb. It was spectacular and so worth the burn. M sat and watched a bunch of guys playing boule (aka bocce ball), made a wish in a well, and did a lot of shopping. 

All the little tangled cobblestone lanes had the most adorable shops. 

Even the bathrooms were pretty!

Finally, we headed back to Antibes and walked to dinner. M played with some French kids and a bubble man in the park, and then we returned to Hotel Mademoiselle, exhausted.

When we were back in our room, M said, “This was my favorite day so far.” I have to agree. I liked the French Riviera about 100x better than the Amalfi Coast. It is prettier, easier to drive, and has way less traffic. We both decided that we will return here someday and spend an entire week exploring it in more depth.

Tomorrow: The French Alps!

France Day 6: France's Favorite Band

This morning we grabbed breakfast at a patisserie inside our walled medieval city Carcassonne, then called for the porter to pick us up. He had to drive us (and our bags) through the cobblestone lanes, over the drawbridge, outside the walls, and over to where our car was parked (in what used to be the moat). During the ride, he asked where we were from and I said, “Los Angeles.” He lit up and said, “My favorite band is from Los Angeles!!” I started running through possibilities in my mind, but he blurted out, “Toto!”  I shot M a sideways glance but she just stared back blankly, obviously having no clue who Toto is. The driver went on, and on, and on… “Their new album is fantastique! I drove all the way to Barcelona to see them live once. Have you ever run into them in LA?” This was more conversation about Toto than I ever have had, or wanted to have, in my life. FINALLY, we reached the car. He said, “Thanks for visiting Europe’s largest walled city!” Having been to both Lucca and Dubrovnik, I thought about correcting him – but then decided not to bother debating with a guy whose favorite band in the world is Toto.

About half an hour down the road, I was flipping through French radio stations and heard, “I bless the rains down in Africa….” I turned to M and said, “OMG!! It is Toto!”  We both busted out laughing. Maybe it is a French thing?

Before long, we reached Pont du Gard, our fourth UNESCO world heritage site of the trip. This 2000-year-old structure is the highest bridge ever built by the Romans. How they stacked giant blocks of stone 16 stories high in  the year 19 BC is beyond me! Each stone weighs 4 to 6 tons! It was constructed with no mortar at all. The arches are made strong only by gravity.

The bridge was actually an aqueduct that carried water for 31 miles from the foothills of the Alps to Nimes. It had to be carefully constructed so that the elevation dropped (water flows downhill on its own), but not too much (it couldn’t become raging) – so they engineered it to decline so gradually that it drops only 4 feet over 31 miles!!

We hiked over the bridge and waved at the kayakers below. It was very hot, so we grabbed some gelato at a stand and headed for Provence, in search of lavender.

Gordes, France

Near Gordes, we hit the jackpot. This is the Abbaye de Senanque, occupied by monks. 

You can wander the property, but have to do so in complete silence. Try that with a chatty 12 year old that has a ton of questions about why monks take a vow of silence!  

She occupied herself by photographing butterflies. These were 2 of her best shots:

When we got back in the car, she burst. She said, “I would make a terrible monk. But I think you would make a good monk, Mom.” Very observant, dear child. Now be quiet and let mommy drive in silence.

Next on our itinerary was Aix en Provence, but we found it to be a nightmare. Traffic was TERRIBLE. There were people everywhere, and it wasn’t particularly scenic or historic – just large and very crowded. The best thing I saw was the Apple Store. We had intended to do some shopping, but didn’t even get out of the car. This wasn’t the peaceful Provence I was looking for.

Our hotel for the night is in Marseille, which is the second largest city in France. However, it honestly feels smaller than Aix en Provence did. Hotel 96 is an absolute oasis, tucked away in a quiet corner of town. The hotel is ranked #1 out of 127 Marseille hotels on Trip Advisor, and now I understand why. This pool is right outside the door of our room, and an herb garden is located outside the back patio sliding door. 

A friendly dog even visited our room to say hello. 

We drove 3km to the beach just to take a quick peek, picked up a pizza for dinner, then retired to the hotel so M could swim and I could blog.

Tomorrow: We do our best Brigitte Bardot imitations as we roam the Riviera.