Mediterranean Cruise Day Seven: Let’s Talk Turkey

I’m two days behind real time again. Sorry about that. It was partly because we have been busy and partly because I was dreading writing the post about Kusadasi, Turkey. Our plan for the day was to just explore the bazaar, walk the town, and maybe hit a beach club in the afternoon. Most people on our ship went to Ephesus. But after Pompeii and the Acropolis – we just weren’t feeling more ruins. So we headed into the bazaar.

We had a gameplan. Rick Steves had warned us not to engage with the vendors at all. Don’t answer questions, don’t say hello – nothing – or you will suddenly be in a back room looking at carpets you could never afford or hideous leather jackets with fur collars. We knew this. We vowed to stay strong. Adam is a MASTER at not shopping. Yet, several hours later we had spent all our euros for the day and felt totally violated.

It’s not possible to simply window shop in Turkey. The shopkeeper will be on you like white on rice, asking “where are you from?” and pulling you into his shop. They also listen to your conversations as you walk by and make relevant comments. Before even speaking to us, they knew we were Americans, and knew Adam was a Lakers fan by his phone case. One guy even yelled out, “hey, going to be rough without Kobe!” I was impressed with his observation skills! And when someone says “hello beautiful” or even just “good morning,” I can’t just ignore them. It’s not polite. So I would kindly say “no thank you.” But the next thing I knew, I had a cup of apple tea in my hand (“It’s a gift!”) and was buying jewelry from a guy who “made it himself by hand” (yah right!).

Memet, who sold the rings, was actually very sweet. His apple tea was delicious. He knew all about the NBA playoffs. He let me use his bathroom. And I love the 16 euro ring that I bought. So no harm, no foul. Until he asked us to just step into his friend’s store next door. His friend sold “genuine fake watches.”

I have no use for a watch, even a real one, so I looked at sunglasses. Adam, the stronger willed shopper of the two of us, also has no need for a watch. But half an hour later, he plunked down 90 euros for a fake Tag Heuer (The price started at 270 euros). And I bought fake Tom Ford and fake Rayban sunglasses for 15 euros each. It’s honestly like they put some kind of Turkish trance on us!

We passed a street called “Bar Street,” so naturally we went down it. But it was a trap. There were no bars, just more shops. Adam called it “Barrage Street,” because of the barrage of aggressive vendors we ran into. We bought some beautiful teal ceramic bowls, Christmas ornaments, and Turkish Delight (don’t buy Turkish delight. We even bought the fresh/soft kind. It is disgusting. It’s like ambrosia with pistachios but chewier.)

We tried to wander the town, but anything outside of the Bazaar area looked super sketchy.

On our way thought the port shops, we stopped in a Turkish carpet store because I saw a tiny rug (like 24 inches by 18 inches) with kittens on it. I was just curious about prices. The man said it was $2400. But he would cut me a special deal for just $1600 if I paid cash. I may have literally said the F word out loud as I walked away.

So we headed back to the ship. It was noon. I felt really bad about wasting a port day, but I had had enough Turkey. With everyone else out at Ephesus, the ship was heaven. We had a quiet afternoon at the pool, played trivia, made friends from Ohio (go Buckeyes!), and read in the solarium.

We watched as a security boat circled our ship all day – from morning to night. Turkey was the only port where this happened. It made me feel less, rather than more, safe.  Then the coolest thing in Turkey happened. We were sitting out on our balcony at 5pm looking at the town when it got oddly quiet. It was as if traffic stopped, music stopped, people stopped talking. Then, over a loudspeaker, we heard a chant. It was LOUD. It played over the entire town. I realized it was the call to prayer. It repeated several times. It kind of gave me chills. Those are the cultural experiences that I love.

That night, I got picked for the Family Feud team that played against the ship’s officers. We didn’t beat the officers, but it was super fun. Then we had an entire flight of martinis, which were presented to us with incredible flair. Seriously, watch this video!

We spent some time watching Band-e-oke, then it was off to bed so I could dream of Santorini – the entire reason I booked this cruise.

Tomorrow: The Greece of My Dreams

xoxo

Mediterranean Cruise Day Six: Driving a Benz-o Around Crete (Without Insurance)

Crete was selected as a replacement port when Celebrity decided Istanbul would be too dangerous. We weren’t sure what to do there until I looked on Pinterest and saw the pink sand beach of Elafonisi. Bingo! To get there, we would need to rent a car.

Someone on Cruise Critic mentioned using Sixt because they would pick us up right at the port. So I ordered a “midsize automatic car,” which sounded like the average car an American would drive. The agent picked us up at the cruise ship in a tiny little Fiat-like car, and drove us, another couple, and a single man to the rental car pick-up place. Yes – there were SIX of us in a Fiat.

Our rental for the day.

We pulled up and he pointed at the Mercedes and said, “that one is yours.” It was at least twice the size and three times the cost of any car in Greece. We laughed and said, “we’ll take it!” I signed a contract that was entirely in Greek (is that legal?).  The agent said, “you declined the insurance, so if anything happens to the car, you will pay in cash.”  We were handed a map – all in Greek, and drove off. As I set the navigation for the beach, Adam said, “your American Express card covers any damage to the car, right?” I responded, “well it would, but I used my Master Card to avoid the foreign transaction fees.” He said, “so let me get this straight – you risked having to spend 40,000 Euros just to save $13.” Well when you put it that way…

"swill"

We stopped at a cute roadside store that was selling “red wine” and “white wine” in what appeared to be old used water bottles. How could we resist? We bought some and drove on. 

We kept passing tons of tiny little houses and churches on poles or platforms – kind of like a mailbox, but very ornate and not always in front of a house. They appeared to have religious iconography and little bottles of liquid inside. I told Adam that I dared him to pull up to one and drink whatever was inside. Ha! He declined. But we made a game of spotting them and found them fascinating.

When we approached the downhill road to the beach, both of our mouths dropped open. Is this Jamaica?! I never expected Crete to have anything so beautiful. The water ranged from crystal clear to bright neon turquoise and the sand was rosebud pink at the water's edge!  

We found loungers and cracked open the “red wine” which Adam called “swill” and then promptly “poured it out for the homies” into the sand.

After a few hours of sun, it was time to leave paradise to drive an hour back across the island and return to the ship. We passed a bunch of wild goats. I called this one LeBron James because he’s the GOAT (greatest of all time). Adam wasn’t amused. 

An entire herd cleared the road as we rounded a bend and we joked that the lead goat warned the others by saying “caaaaar.”

Listening to Siri give directions in Greek was comedy gold. “Turn right onto Eparidia Odiolodi Kaloudianon Chrisoskalitissas,” she said. Ha!

We passed lots of little beautiful roadside stands selling olive oil and honey. We stopped to buy honey, and the vendor talked us into also buying Raki and carrot jam. Raki is the national beverage of Turkey, and is booze made from raisins that tastes like gasoline. Carrot jam, however, was surprisingly good!

Oasis, which sits on the edge of a cliff looking down into a gorge

We stopped for lunch overlooking a deep gorge at a place called Oasis. I kept looking down and telling Adam it was “GORGE-ous.” They served Cretan food, but it was all Greek to me. 

At the end, they brought us a gift of yogurt topped with carrot jam and a tiny bottle of raki! The waitress was very sweet, and when I tried to give her 3 euros for a tip, she refused to take it. She said it was her pleasure to serve us. Crete is the best!

The car made it back in one piece, and we returned to the ship. The captain started his sail away announcement the same way he does every day – “Hello. It is me again. Your captain.” Then he told us that there had been an earthquake at 11:30 am in Crete, but not to worry, because there was no Tsunami warning. Greaaat.

We did sail away on our balcony, had a drink in the World Class bar (hint: if you buy drinks there, they will give you 50% off coupons for next time!) and headed to dinner. By now, we were kind of bored with the main dining room and buffet so we decided to try one of the premium restaurants (that means you pay $35 each) and went to Silk Harvest. It was NOT worth $70. If you live in a city that has decent Thai restaurants, the meal we had was worth about $15. I recommend skipping it. But that’s ok – because we had a lovely day in Crete.

Tomorrow: Let’s Talk Turkey

xoxo